The Breath of God

Remaining standing on all fours, with my head still bent over the bucket, I suddenly realized that I no longer feel any unpleasant sensations. On the contrary, I realized that I was breathing! I felt every breath with my whole being. It was a slow breathing that filled me. I distinctly heard each breath in and out. Euphoria filled my essence. Suddenly I realized that it was not just my breath, it was the breath of God. Yes, it is the breath of God! I had no doubts about it. And then I began to feel the presence... of God himself! He was near. He was here. There was no doubt. It was obvious. There was God.

I began to straighten and get up from my knees. Those past phrases "No", "Please", "Don’t need", which had burst from my lips before, when I writhed in suffering, were replaced by ecstatic "Oh, yes! Oh yes! Oh YES!!! ". I got up and felt God very close. I saw his abstract image, which is quite difficult to describe. Some abstract essence in space with slowly moving "tentacles" consisting of geometric forms: spheres, cubes, pyramids. And light! This essence was filled with light.

I think it was a visual interpretation of something incomprehensible that my bounded brain showed me as a picture. Much more important was precisely the feeling, the sensation of the real presence of God. This sense of presence cannot be conveyed in words, such words simply do not exist.

Euphoria and ecstasy filled me all! It was the quintessence of my whole life! This was what I always subconsciously (and probably consciously) aspired, namely to know God. But what happened next, I could not imagine even in a dream…

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