Truths began to reveal to me,
literally reveal. These were not just words, I literally lived all these
phenomena, comprehending their meaning, realizing them at the level of
feelings, sensations that are almost impossible to describe in words. First, a
thought was born in my head, the name of the truth, and immediately after that
I plunged into the perception and experience of the truth itself. With every
open truth, the remnants of doubts disappeared like a dream. On the contrary,
awareness of the reality of what was happening became more pronounced and clear
even at the level of my critical mind. Moreover, everything that happened to me
became the most real reality, the reality of God, the reality of Truth, which
was more real than ordinary everyday reality.
Some truths I remember quite
clearly, some are blurred in my memories. Some truths were accompanied by vivid
visions and full immersion in another reality, others I comprehended without
leaving the environment around me. Although the environment around me was not
ordinary at all. Then, and now too, I could not find a more suitable epithet
than magic. I do not remember the precise order experienced truths, but I will
try to present them in at least an approximate chronological sequence.
The first two I have already
mentioned are the Breath of God and I Am. The breath of God was accompanied by
a very vivid effect. I was not just breathing, I inhaled and exhaled tiny
particles of light. They were everywhere, I filled them with inspiration and
exhaled them into the surrounding space. As I realized later, the Breath of God
is the Holy Spirit, or Prana, in Hindu terminology.
Then there was Love! The very one I
was looking for, pure, eternal, boundless love. I touched the very source of
love in the universe! I saw its abstract image, some voluminous substance with
similar geometric shapes that I had already seen: cubes, pyramids, spheres on
the surface. It was filled with light and warmth. The light was very pleasant,
a warm shade. I touched her, I began to draw love in the form of heat and light
from this inexhaustible source. I was filled with love, light and warmth. I
sent this love to my wife, my children, and then to all beings in the universe.
Believe me, this love is really enough for everyone, this is truly an inexhaustible
source!
Then there was Nirvana. I remember
this truth very clearly. I felt myself hovering in a huge space. The space was
filled with a faint light of a bluish hue. Around there were pillars consisting
of geometric shapes already familiar: cubes, spheres, pyramids. These pillars
began somewhere far below and towered high up. I have not seen neither their
beginning nor their end, and this very space seemed boundless. I felt blissful.
It was not just some sort of pacification, it was a very vivid and powerful
feeling of bliss. I slowly sailed or floated between these pillars in bliss. I
still thought: "I wonder how you can withstand such a powerful feeling for
a long time?" But it did not last long. I returned to myself soon and
realized that the particle of Nirvana remained in me forever. Moreover, there
is a particle of Nirvana in every person.
Next was the Omnipresent. God
exists everywhere in the universe. I felt it, I was everywhere at once. Now, as
I write these lines, the memories of this truth have remained blurred,
indistinct. Probably because to realize this in the normal state of
consciousness is not possible. But then I felt clearly that God is omnipresent.
Being and nothingness, these two
incomprehensible categories... Being and nothingness are two sides of the same
coin. Being is impossible without nothingness, as nothingness is impossible
without being. One follows from the other. When I comprehended this truth, I
saw the sign of Yin and Yang. Yin and Yang are being and nothingness. This is
not a static picture, it is an endless process of flowing one into another.
Now, as I write these lines, I try to describe the knowledge that I
comprehended at that time. Unfortunately now this knowledge has shifted in my
mind to the "theoretical" section. I no longer "live" this
knowledge, I do not comprehend its deep essence, but only describe my memories
of this event.
Emptiness. When I comprehended this
truth, I really found myself in emptiness. In my other visions related to other
truths I found myself in a space full of stars, but this time I found myself in
absolute emptiness. There was nothing around me. Only me, my consciousness,
nothing more. Emptiness is a characteristic of nothingness.
Infinity and Eternity. This is
something that the human brain cannot realize. Nevertheless, the universe is
infinite and eternal, it has always existed and will always exist. It's not
just about the visible universe, but about Everything. Like some other truths,
Eternity and Infinity have shifted in my consciousness to the category of
"theoretical" knowledge. You can talk about this as much as you like,
but a limited human brain simply cannot truly realize and accept an endless and
eternal World.
Consciousness... Consciousness is
eternal, as is being itself. Consciousness is an inalienable characteristic of
being.
One of the truths was the out of
body experience. As with other truths, what happened was not the result of my
conscious volitional effort, it just happened. As before, at first the words
"Out of body" sounded in my head, and right after that I “lived” this
truth. At that moment I was sitting on the couch. I turned my head back, felt
the movement and found myself hovering in the Cosmos, among the stars. I did
not see my body, which remained sitting on the couch, I was far from there. It
did not last long, after a short time I came back.
Good and evil, an eternal dichotomy...
Good and evil exist to set the direction, the vector of movement from evil to
good. If there was one thing - either absolute good or absolute evil, then
there would be no movement, no process and no development.
In one of the visions I saw a lotus
flower. He was beautiful! It was a sacred lotus, a cosmic symbol.
Feeling oneness with God, I
realized that God does not belong to any particular religion, there was the God
of all religions. Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam... All religions have
a specific function and have their purpose.
At some point, my hands spread
themselves out and I realized myself crucified on the cross. I realized that I
was Jesus. Near the cross, I felt some disgusting little thing, it was the
original sin of humanity. This essence was burned in flames with me. So this
sin was redeemed.
It was understood that Jesus really
was crucified on the cross and he really was God. Buddha also really existed.
He was not God in the same sense as Jesus, but he was a saint rightfully.
Experiencing all this, I realized
that Jews should recognize the truths that Jesus preached, but do it not like
other nations, the Jews have their own way. Jews must know the truth through
Kabbalah.
Man and woman are the beauty of
creation! Mankind is divided into two halves so that it is easier to know love.
The universe consists of a set of
parallel universes. Other dimensions are realities. I saw an image with a lot
of parallel dimensions that touch each other but do not intersect. Everything
is possible in this Multiverse. All the possibilities are realized.
At some point, I suddenly realized
that I was holding a bottle of water in my hand and breathing into it. I
clearly felt that the water in the bottle became a holy and felt the need to
drink it. I drank all to the bottom, without stopping, although there was quite
a lot of water there.
I remember I was thinking:
"What a wonderful lesson you give me, Ayahuasca!"
Jesus doesn't exist. He is a fictional character created by the council of Nicaea modeled after Mithra in the image of Serapis Bey.
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